It was indeed a very sad moment of my life when the people whom I loved began to leave me one by one. Both my parents have passed away and to add salt to my wound my girlfriend broke off with me recently. This led me to great hurt and depression and I began to smoke and drink to bury my sorrow.
On 31st Aug 2009, I received a SMS from my eldest sister who was suffering from depression invited me to follow her to CKRM, where she received healing from God. I was very happy to know that she had recovered so I decided to join her after my trip back from Germany.
On 25 Sept 2009, this was the first time I stepped into CKRM; I felt the peace which I have never experienced for a very long time. During ministry time, many brothers and sisters were touched by Holy Spirit but not me. However I was happy to see my eldest sister was totally set free. This was a miracle and I started to have faith in God again because I had seen what the Lord had done to my sister. I started to recover from the sadness and I was able to quit smoking after 7 years with the power of God.
Ps Esther from CKRM gave me a personal ministry session on Monday fortnightly. I felt so thankful to God, for giving me this privilege. During the session, Ps Esther will pray for me, advice and guide me through bible study. I learned how to be obedient and submit myself to God. I really thanked God for giving me the chance to join CKRM which is like a big family of God where I could really feel the care and support from all the brothers and sisters in Christ.
In my company, God also did a miracle. I had a project which deadline was end of November, but due to the past incidents, I wasn’t able to focus on the work and complete it. Praise God! the boss from Munich extended the deadline to June 2010, where I would definitely have enough time to complete the project. Praise the Lord for helping me even though I didn’t pray, but God knew what I needed most. Besides this, whenever, I felt worry and in doubt, God would send people to minister.
On 14 November during the ministry in CKRM Melaka, God touched me and filled me with Holy Spirit. I fell to the floor, I held both of my hands very tight till my fingers started to turn purple and I couldn’t open my fingers. I felt so painful and cold. I realized that actually deep down my heart, I was still harboring hatred, anger and jealousy toward my ex girlfriend and my ex close friend. Then I begged God to give me a heart of forgiveness. Immediately, I was able to move my fingers. I knew God wanted me to learn that by holding on the past it would make me suffer more. On 15 November, I followed my sister to CKRM in Banting. I went to the altar when Ps Paul asked who wished to be baptized by the Holy Spirit. When Ps Paul said the Holy Spirit was coming to perform the baptism. I was filled by the Holy Spirit again. I fell on floor and I could feel that something was flowing into my body, I felt warm and heavy. Then my tongue started to move and make sounds that no one understood. I received the gift of tongue! I knew I was born again in the Spirit.
On 21 November, during the CKRM ministry, I was invited by Ps Esther to go to the front and she said God had prompted her to give me a Christian name, Nathanael, which mean “Given by God”. I was very happy to receive this meaningful Christian name which marked that day as a new page of my life where I finally started my new life with new name in the Kingdom of God.
Now when I looked back what had happened, actually God was always with me and he had never forsaken me although I was full of sin. Who am I to be able to receive so much love of God? If not because of God’s grace, I don’t think I would be able to go through the darkest moment of my life. My life has totally changed since last few months. In the past I would spend all my time in shopping center or cafe. But now, most of my times are in church. I am happy to be able to occupy my time in God’s presence. Although sometimes I still feel lonely but I do not feel afraid anymore because I know God has provided a much better life and will arrange a better partner for me. I really thank and praise God for what he had done to me. I believe with the help of God, I will fully recover from depression and become a stronger man. After an encounter with God I am a new person, (2 Corinthian 17) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new. Hallelujah!
在二零零九年八月三十一日, 我接到我患有忧郁症大姐的手机简讯, 邀请我跟随她到CKRM因她在那里被神医治。我很高兴得知她已经康复，所以决定从德国回反后跟她一起去看看。
神也在我的公司里行神迹。我手上的工程原本在十一月尾的期限必须完工，但因为过去的经历使我无法集中精神在所定的时间里完成工作。赞美主! 在慕尼黑的老板竟把期限延迟到二零一零年六月，让我有足够的时间完成这工程。赞美主如此恩待我！我虽然没有为这事祷告，但是神知道我最需要什么。除此以外, 每当我感到担心疑惑时, 神总会差遣人来服事我。
在十一月十四日马六甲CKRM权能事奉聚会时, 神以祂的大能和圣灵充满我。我躺在地上并且紧握双手直到我的手指头变紫色。我无法张开双手并且感到极其痛苦和冷。我发现我的内心深处对我的前女友和好友依然存有怨恨, 愤怒和嫉妒。我求神给我一颗原谅他们的心。之后我马上能张开紧握的双手。我知道神要我学习，紧紧抓住过去不放只会使我受更多折磨。在十一月十五日, 我跟随姐姐到CKRM万津教会。当保罗牧师问谁要领受圣灵时, 我去到台前。当保罗牧师说圣灵要来为众人施洗时, 我又再次被圣灵充满倒在地上。我感觉到有一股又热又重的力量流入我的体内。我的舌头开始懦动并且发出没人能理解的声音。我领受了方言的恩赐! 我知道我已经在灵里重生了。
在十一月二十一日聚会, 以斯帖牧师邀请我到前面并且说神启示她给我一个新名字叫拿但业, 意思是“神所赐”。 我非常高兴能领受这么一个有意义的名字作为我生命在那天掀开新一页的标记。我终于以新的名字在神的国度里开始新的生命！
我回顾过去所发生的事, 纵然我沉迷在罪孽中，神依然与我同在没有撇弃我。我是谁竟能领受神如此深广的爱? 如果不是神的恩典, 我想我是无法遨过这生命里最黑暗的时刻。我的生命在过去的几个月里完全被改变。在以往, 我会把所有的时间花在百货商场或者咖啡厅里。如今, 我大多数的时间都在教会里。我感到高兴能把我的时间花在神的同在里。虽然我偶尔感到孤单但是我不再感到害怕，因为我知道神为我预备了更好的生活和一位更好的伴侣。我感谢与赞美神所赐予我的一切。我相信靠着神的帮助, 我会从忧郁中完全康复起来和成为一个更刚强的人。与神相遇后, 我是一个新造的人！若有人在基督里，他就是新造的人，旧事已过，都变成新的了。（歌林多后书5:17）哈利路亚!