中国大学副教授 在马六甲 CKRM 难忘的经历 / A university of China associate professor’s unforgettable encounter with God in CKRM Malacca

我在中国一所大学做副教授,原本对CKRM一无所知。但在神的奇妙带领下,发现了这个事工并参加了第五届约书亚营,在营会中经历了神的大能和祝福。以下是我的见证,从计划参加一直到营会结束的经历。

1.决定参加第五届约书亚营

在4月的时候,我在网上搜索爱修园信息时,发现了保罗牧师的BLOG,因为其中有关于爱修园与CKRM断绝关系的文章。我对CKRM事工产生了兴趣,于是详细阅读了保罗牧师的BLOG,首先看了神对保罗牧师和以斯帖牧师的呼召过程,看到两位牧师确实是顺服神的带领创建了CKRM。同时,我又读了一些弟兄姐妹的见证,我主要看的不是神迹奇事,而是要看这个事工是否有生命建造方面的果子。从见证中,我发现了很多弟兄姐妹的生命翻转,不只是表面的神迹奇事而已。于是我心中有了想去CKRM的想法。起初想参加第六届约书亚营,因为现在的工作很忙。但心里总是感觉不平安,好象有个催促,于是最终决定参加第五届约书亚营,心里才平安下来。

2.仇敌的拦阻与争战

当我决定参加营会并做好安排之后,仇敌开始攻击我,我陷入很大的黑暗之中,怀疑、惧怕、混乱攻击我。因为我是爱修园的远距学生,而爱修园已经与CKRM断绝关系。仇敌攻击我的心思意念,使我担心CKRM不是属神的。仇敌的攻击很强烈,我感觉几乎要崩溃,只能在神面前哭求,求神帮助我,告诉我是否是祂要我去CKRM。

家里墙上有一节经文,以赛亚书41:10“你不要害怕,因为我与你同在。不要惊惶,因为我是你的神。我必坚固你,我必帮助你,我必用我公义的右手扶持你。”我手按在经文上呼求神,感觉到平安。

我也想起了这种攻击我曾经经历过。因我刚信主的时候,是在异端中,后来神带领我走了出来。当我要走出异端的时候,也曾受过这种攻击,因为那时对神认识不多,经过了半年多挣扎才走出来。现在的攻击我觉得有些熟悉了,而且我对神的认识比那时要清楚,我知道疑惑和惧怕不是出于神,不是神的拦阻,是仇敌的拦阻。我心里也有很深的一个感动,这次去CKRM会给我的生命带来很大的突破,也要建立起新的连接。

经过一周的争战,我终于胜了过来。但仇敌又开始攻击我的家人,甚至我一个四岁的小侄女进入医院,我动身出发的时候,她已经在医院里近半个月了,为我代祷的几个姐妹家里也受到了攻击。我心里很难过,但我知道我必须去,我对神承诺要放下一切走祂为我命定的道路。从决定去参加营会到动身出发,经过了一个多月的争战,感到身心灵都很疲惫。尤其家人受攻击,真的是很难过。于是带着很沉重的心动身前往CKRM。

3.营会中的祝福

来到了CKRM,感到很温暖,牧师和弟兄姐妹都很亲切,脸上带着笑容,给我很多照顾。以往也参加过一些特会,弟兄姐妹间好像都彼此隔绝,从没有感觉到这么多爱。聚会中很开心,看到神的大能的同时,也感到神做事很有趣,这几天我笑的很多,把一段时间里争战的阴暗和压力释放了出去。

在营会中,从神领受了很多祝福。几个姐妹对我发预言,说神对我的呼召是真的。因为我一直感觉神对我有呼召,但我不肯定,经常求问神。姐妹们的预言给了我印证。后来以斯帖牧师给我祷告的时候,也对我说,神对我的呼召是真的,并对我说不要走在神的前头。神藉着保罗牧师给我传递了宝剑、圣火、意念更新的工具。在营会中,神以前给我的一些恩赐也被加强和激活,如狮子吼、吹气、跳舞敬拜的恩赐。以前我不清楚这些是神给的恩赐,也不知道如何用。

营会结束后,晚上保罗牧师、以斯帖牧师和几位弟兄姐妹继续服事我。神感动保罗牧师,让Elizabeth姐妹给我传递敬拜的恩膏,我开始舞蹈敬拜神。当我跳舞的时候,保罗牧师说我的恩赐刚刚被激活,但当时我不知道这个恩赐对我来讲有多么重要。在回来的路上,当我一想到敬拜,灵里开始跳舞,感到神的很强的同在降下来。回家以后,也是这样的感觉,而且我更渴慕来敬拜神,发现自己想要更深的敬拜祂,与祂有更亲密的关系,更多渴慕祂,我也发现自己对神的爱和渴慕还远远不够。

保罗牧师和以斯帖牧师还为我做了其他很多祷告,重新启动我的狮子吼,并为我的启示性恩赐及其他方面祷告。我相信,神藉着约书亚营会给我的属灵祝福不只是这些,以上只是我知道,但神给我的远超过我所想到的。

晚上十点多,因为要赶第二天早晨的飞机,依依不舍地告别了牧师和弟兄姐妹。以前也参加过一些特会或营会,从来没有这种感觉,感到对CKRM很有感情,舍不得离开。

4.对CKRM的认识

通过这次营会,我对CKRM有了更多的认识,确信这个事工是神所重用和祝福的事工。保罗牧师和以斯帖牧师是在服事神的心。我知道不能把他们的服事与其他事工相比较,因为神所量给每个人的不一样,但我觉得CKRM没有那些虚浮假冒的东西,而是更多的真实。

有些人对像CKRM这样的超自然事工不理解,认为只是单纯追求恩赐和神迹奇事,但通过我自己的经历,我知道不是这样的。就我来讲,我更加想要亲近神,顺服神,过圣洁的生活。读经的时候,也更感觉到神的同在,经文更加活泼起来。营会上保罗牧师、以斯帖牧师和其他牧师对弟兄姐妹也是很严格的教导。还有些姐妹被提到三层天,带着主的话语下来,传达主的忧虑,指出CKRM中存在的问题。这也说明是主在监管着这个事工,要不断引导弟兄姐妹快跑跟随祂。

愿神祝福、保守CKRM,带领CKRM更加进深,并时时警醒,使CKRM按神的心意完成神的托付,走在神对CKRM的最高最完全的命定中。奉主耶稣基督的圣名,阿门!

Dr Sarah Shan
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A university of China associate professor’s unforgettable encounter with God in CKRM Malacca

I am an associate professor of a university in China. Initially, I knew nothing about CKRM but under the amazing leading of God, I stumbled upon this ministry and joined the 5th Joshua Camp. During the camp, I experienced God’s awesome power and blessing. Below is my testimony of what I had experienced from the time I planned to join the camp until the camp was over.

1. Decide to join the 5th Joshua Camp

In April, while I was searching online for information on Agape Renewal Center (ARC), USA I stumbled upon Ps Paul’s blog as it contained an article about the disassociation of Agape Leadership with CKRM. I got interested in the ministry of CKRM and read Ps Paul’s blog thoroughly. Firstly, I read about how God called Ps Paul and Ps Esther and how they obeyed the leading of God to set up CKRM. I also read the testimonies of other brothers and sisters at the same time – I was not looking for signs and wonders but whether this ministry bore any fruits in the process of building up our lives. From the testimonies, I realized that the lives of many brothers and sisters were turned around and not merely just signs and wonders at the surface level. With such positive results, I had the thoughts of going to CKRM to explore. In the beginning, I wanted to join the 6th Joshua Camp as I was busy with lots of work during this season. However, there was no peace in my heart due to a sense of urgency to encounter God. In the end, I decided to join the much earlier -5th Joshua Camp and interestingly peace settled in my heart.

2. The enemy’s obstruction and spiritual warfare

After I have decided to join the 5th Joshua Camp and made arrangements, the enemy began to attack me. I fell into deep darkness; doubt, fear and confusion attacked me as I am a long ‘on-line’ student of ARC, USA and Agape who had disassociated itself with CKRM. The enemy attacked my mind and caused me to question whether CKRM is a ministry of God. The attacks from the enemy was very intense, I felt as if I was going to fall apart. I could only cry before God, pleading with Him to reveal whether He wanted me to go CKRM.

On the wall in my home was a scripture, Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I cried out to God while placing my hand on this scripture and felt the peace of God again.

I also recalled that I had experienced such attacks before. When I first became a believer, I was in a heretic group. Later on, God led me out of this group. When I was leaving this group, I also experienced such attacks. Back then, I didn’t know God well and it took half a year of struggle before I could leave this group. The attacks I experienced now felt familiar and I knew God much better now as compared to the past. I knew that doubt and fear were not of God and this was not an obstruction from God but from the enemy. I also felt deep in my heart that this trip to CKRM would bring tremendous breakthrough in my life and established new connection.

After a week of spiritual warfare, I emerged victorious. But the enemy began to attack my family members. A 4 year old niece of mine was hospitalized. When I departed, she was already in the hospital for half a month. The families of the sisters who interceded for me were also attacked. I felt sad but I knew I must go – I promised God that I would put down everything to walk in the path He has prepared for me. From the time I decided to join the camp for departure, after more than a month of spiritual warfare, I was exhausted physically, emotionally and spiritually. The attack on my family was truly upsetting for me. With a heavy heart, I departed for CKRM .

3. The blessing during camp

I felt the warmth of the people when I arrived in CKRM. The pastors, brothers and sisters were very friendly with smiles on their faces and they took good care of me. In the past, I have also attended conferences & camps before and the people seemed to isolate one another. I had never felt so much love. I was very joyful throughout the camp. Besides witnessing the power of God, I also felt that the way God did things was very interesting. I laughed a lot during the camp and was released from the oppression and pressure that I had for a while. The joy of the Lord set me free from the one month of torment from the enemy.

During the camp, I received many blessings from God. A few sisters prophesied to me that God’s calling in my life is real. I had always felt that I had a calling but I wasn’t certain and often asked God. The prophesies from the sisters provided the confirmation. Later on, when Ps Esther was praying for me, she also told me that God’s calling in my life was real and told me not to run ahead of God. God used Ps Paul to impart the sword of the spirit, the fire anointing, the mind renewal weapon etc. During the camp, God also increased and activated the anointing of some previous spiritual gifting in me such as the roar of the Lion of Judah, worship anointing etc. In the past, I didn’t know that these were spiritual gifts from God and didn’t know how to use them. The fire of God activated the gifts in me.

After the camp was over, Ps Paul, Ps Esther and a few brothers and sisters continued to minister to me. God prompted Ps Paul to ask sister Elizabeth to impart the worship anointing to me and I began to dance and worshipped God. As I was dancing, Ps Paul said my gift had just been activated. Back then, I didn’t realize the importance of this gift to me. On my way home, whenever I thought of worshipping God, I would start to dance in the Spirit and felt God’s presence descended very strongly on me. After reaching home, I still could feel this way and longed to worship God even more. I realized that I longed to worship Him even more deeply and to know Him more intimately. I also realized that my love and longing for God was still not enough. There was a constant longing to be close to Him.

Ps Paul and Ps Esther also prayed for me on many other things; re-activating my roar of the Lion of Judah and prayed for the gift of prophecy and for many other areas. I knew God through Joshua Camp did not just bless me with these things, but even much more beyond my imagination. I had developed such a affection for CKRM and the brothers and sisters when I felt very reluctant to leave which I had never felt before among other meetings which I had attended in the past.

4. My understanding of CKRM

Through this camp, my understanding of CKRM has deepened. I firmly believed that this is a ministry where God blessed and used me mightily. Ps Paul and Ps Esther have the hearts that serve God and minister according to God’s heartbeat. I know I cannot compare their ministry with others as what God gives everyone of us is different but I felt that there is nothing hypocritical or false about CKRM. On the contrary, it just could not be more realistic and authentic.

Some people do not understand this kind of supernatural ministry that CKRM has and felt that it is just a pursuit after spiritual gifting, signs and wonders. But from my own experience, I know this is not the case. Take me for example, after the Joshua Camp, the Fire draws me closer to God, obey Him and live a holy life. I can feel more of His presence now and the scriptures come alive when I do my devotion. During the camp, Ps Paul, Ps Esther and the rest of the pastors were also very strict when teaching the word of God to the brothers and sisters. Some sisters who went to the third heaven brought back words expressing the Lord’s concerns. They pointed out the existing attitude of some CKRM members. This signifies that the Lord is supervising this ministry and constantly guiding the brothers and sisters to seek more of Him.

May God bless and guard CKRM thus, leading CKRM deeper and to be constantly vigilant so that CKRM will fulfill what the Lord has entrusted us to walk in the good and perfect will of God. I pray all this in Jesus holy name, Amen!

Dr Sarah Shan

(The testimony was written in Mandarin by Dr Sarah Shan. It was translated to English by our Editorial Team)

6 comments:

Paul Ang said...

Dear Sarah,

Thanks for your heart-touching testimony. Ps Esther shed tear and had to pause while she was interpreting the contents to me. We are very touched by your testimony. Praise God for His awesome work in your life.

Blessings, Ps Paul

Sarah said...

Dear Pastor Paul,

Thanks for your response. It’s CKRM touched my heart first.

I’ll go to Malacca with a sister from Beijing next time. She is a worship leader with prophetic songs. We had a talk online yesterday and she told me that the Holy Spirit stirred her heart strongly. All day long there was only a word “Malaysia” in her heart. When I said CKRM, she couldn’t help tears.

She has been in great weakness for several months. We prayed together in tongues and released lion’s roar. She revived again. Praise the Lord!

Blessings
Sarah

Wong Ah Sang said...

When I read her testimony I was so touch by her determination even though she faced alot of obstacles before she joined the 5th Joshua Camp.

Wong Ah Sang

Penny Tan said...

Felt very touch after reading Sarah's testimony and Praise God for blessing her so much when she determined to follow the movement of God and loves God so much. May our heavenly father bless her until overflowing in order to bless others in her homeland, amen!

Penny Tan

St Mark said...

I am amazed by the grit and determination demonstrated by Sis Sarah in her quest for God which brought her to CKRM Joshua Camp. I pray that many would be inspired by her testimony and will not give up or compromise when the going gets tough. The greater the Glory, the greater the resistance from the enemy ... it is therefore important not to lose heart in the heat of the battle.

JC sheep said...

If only every Christian has the discernment spirit as Sarah, understand the heart beat of The Father and tap on the ministry of CKRM that Father has provided for them, Revival will come soon and the whole nation and world will be shaken!
May our Lord Jesus bless all His children with the 7 folds of His Spirit so that that we will not be lead by the blind.
若每个基督徒都能像撒拉姐妹一样的谦卑寻求神和求神赐予分辨诸灵的恩赐,明白父神的心意和来经历神透过CKRM 事工的服事为他们所预备的祝福,复兴必快来。而神的大能也必大大的震动天地!
愿主耶稣降下祂的七灵在众孩子的身上,叫我们不被瞎子牵着鼻子走。