1.一个运用属灵武器的经历

从第五届约书亚营回来一个月了，感觉应该写点什么。于是做了很多预备，随时把自己的思路和感动记在笔记上。一些天过去，发现笔记上记了很多线索、经文，但我却写不出完整的文章来，因为很零散，而且内容太多。我想整理出提纲来，却做不到。我就想，也许写这个文章的时候不到？或者对CKRM的理解不够深入？

一天早晨，又有感动开始写这篇文章，但仍然很混乱，加之仇敌藉着一些事情攻击我的思想，我感觉自己的思维不够清晰，无法下笔。突然我想起了Joyce Tai 牧师的见证 （http://ckrm.org/cn/?p=841），也想起神藉着保罗牧师给了我意念更新的武器。我奉主耶稣基督的名用这个武器敲自己的头，同时斥责混乱的思想和辖制离开。敲了几下之后，犹大狮子吼被释放出来，伴随着吹角、吹气，同时我也挥舞圣灵宝剑争战。过了20分钟左右，有呕吐的感觉，我知道得了释放，并且喜乐的灵降下，我的思维清晰起来。浸泡在神的同在中，我明白了神要我写什么。神不是要我讲很多道理或引用很多经文来支持自己的观点，神现在只是要我写下自己的经历作为见证。于是我在十分钟之内把提纲写出来，并且补充一些关键内容。

2．恩赐和恩膏需要持守和操练

得到属灵恩赐相对容易，但持守不容易。撒旦不甘心我们得到属灵好处，牠一定会来偷窃破坏。主耶稣讲过撒种的比喻，飞鸟会来吞吃。士师记6：3-4，6“以色列人每逢撒种之后，米甸人，亚玛力人，和东方人都上来攻打他们，对着他们安营，毁坏土产，直到迦萨，没有给以色列人留下食物，牛，羊，驴也没有留下” “以色列人因米甸人的缘故，极其穷乏…”。

我们刚刚得到属灵恩赐，就像神给我们的种子，需要用信心持守，防备仇敌的偷窃和欺骗，并不断操练使恩赐成长。否则我们会像以色列人一样：极其穷乏。

一些被大多数灵恩派基督徒接受的恩赐比较容易持守，如方言、先知预言、医病恩赐等，因为这些恩赐是可见的或可理解的。然而CKRM的恩赐多是用于属灵争战的，了解的人不多，相关知识也少，理性上不容易通过，需要更多地通过信心持守并操练。感谢主，从营会回来这一个月里，CKRM的牧师们和弟兄姐妹通过网络和电话对我有很多服事，继续给我传递恩膏，鼓励我操练，使我能平稳渡过疑惑期，进入更深的经历和理解。

很多人悟性上不明白，就接受仇敌的欺骗，轻易否定这些恩赐和恩膏，于是不继续操练，也就不会去经历，不会有真正的理解，如此落入仇敌的网罗中，最终放弃丢失掉。如果凭信心操练，在逐渐经历中，对恩赐的认识会加深，信心也越来越大，神也会给多开启。赞美神，我们的信仰本来就是“本于信以至于信”（罗马书1：17），“有的还要加给他”（马太福音13：12）。不迈出信心的步伐，永远不会前进。

3. 我在这段期间的改变

a. 靠主喜乐

近几年我很少有喜乐，很难笑出来，我也知道要常常喜乐，但我就是很难笑出来。营会中保罗牧师为我祷告，领受喜乐的灵，回来后保罗牧师和Thomas弟兄又通过网络给我传递喜乐的恩膏，尤其读过保罗牧师转发的一篇关于圣灵中喜笑的文章后（Holy Laughter—What's it All About?），我对喜乐有了进一步了解。我敞开自己的心向神求喜乐充满，感谢神，现在我有很大的突破，脸上经常会带着笑容，很多时候会莫名其妙地笑。

以前经历艰难时，我通常会靠意志敬拜主，在痛苦中赞美，以为能在苦难中保持对主的忠心和爱就是得胜了，当然这很宝贵，但现在我知道那还不是真正的得胜，我们还要在百般试炼中大喜乐”（雅各书1：2）。然而这不是我们自己的力量能达到的，我们是要靠主喜乐”（腓立比书4：4）。以前我也会经常说“靠主喜乐”、“靠主喜乐”，但其实并不真正明白，因为没有经历。现在不同了，有时感到心里痛苦的时候，我会呼求喜乐的灵，马上喜乐充满了我，很轻松地就越过了痛苦。感谢神，祂的喜乐是多么奇妙宝贵的武器呀！不是倚靠势力、不是倚靠才能，惟独倚靠耶和华的灵方能成事（撒加利亚书4：6）。赞美主！

b. 更有能力的祷告

在以前的祷告中，我通常采用较长时间的方言祷告，然后才会有犹大狮子吼，但经过营会后，恩赐被重新激活和加强，现在悟性祷告也经常会运用犹大狮子吼、吹角、打雷等，都是圣灵带领下很自然地释放出来。在家里祷告的时候，为了不影响邻居，我释放狮子吼的时候会把声音压低，使气流主要在胸腔压出，发出的声音就不会太大。我所在的教会是传统教会，但在主日聚会会前祷告的时候，我也采用这种方式使用这些恩赐。

不同恩赐和恩膏是相互效力，但还有一个最基础的恩膏-圣火的恩膏。说实话，开始时我也不知道圣火恩膏到底有什么用，难道只是领受的时候有感觉而已吗？读了保罗牧师圣火恩膏及目的（http://pastorpaulang.blogspot.com/2008/10/fire-anointing-and-its-purpose.html，对我启发很大。现在我知道圣火的恩膏是基础，首先是要有圣火的恩膏，对我炼净，并除去很多仇敌的拦阻，提升我属灵敏锐度，然后其他的恩膏作用才会发挥效力。

赞美神，祂有无限的智慧和大能！

Dr Sarah Shan
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Maintaining and practicing my spiritual gifting – Dr Sarah Shan

1. An experience of using spiritual weapons

It has been a month since returning from the 5th Joshua Camp and I sensed that the Lord wants me to write something. So I made many preparations, constantly noting down my thoughts and sentiments on a notebook. After a while, I realized that there are many “clues” and scriptures on my notebook but I couldn’t write out a complete article because the content was too scattered and too much. I wanted to outline what I wanted to write but I just couldn’t. I began to ponder; probably it is not the time to write this article yet or it is because of my understanding of CKRM is not comprehensive enough?

One morning, I felt the urge to write the article again but it was still in a very messy stage. Furthermore, the enemy attacked my mind through some matters and caused my thoughts to be unclear. I was unable to write. Suddenly, I recalled the testimony of Pastor Joyce Tai（http://www.ckrm.org/?p=2433) where Pastor Paul imparted the mind renewal spiritual weapon to me. I used this spiritual weapon in the name of Jesus to knock on my head while commanding the chaotic thoughts and any mind controlling powers to leave me. After a few knocks, the roar of the Lion of Judah was activated, followed by the shofar and blowing anointing. At the same time I was also wielding the Sword of the Spirit and engaging in spiritual warfare. After 20 minutes, I felt the need to vomit and I knew that I had been delivered. The Spirit of joy came upon me and my thoughts began to clear up. As I soaked in the presence of God, I knew what God wanted me to write about. God didn’t want me to use lots of arguments and scriptures to support my views. Instead He only wanted me to write down my experiences as a testimony. So I outlined what I wanted to write in 10 minutes supported with various key points.

2. The need to maintain and practise spiritual gifting and anointing

Acquiring spiritual gifting is easy but maintaining it is not. Satan is not happy when we prosper spiritually, he will surely come to kill, steal and destroy what we have acquired. In the parable of the Sower, Jesus told us that the birds ate up the seeds that fell along the path. In Judges 6:3-4, “Whenever the Israelites planted their crops, the Midianites, Amalekites and other eastern peoples invaded the country. They camped on the land and ruined the crops all the way to Gaza and did not spare a living thing for Israel, neither sheep nor cattle nor donkeys.” In verse 6 it says “Midian so impoverished the Israelites …”

The spiritual gifting we initially received is like the seeds God gave us - requires faith to maintain, keep away from the deception of the enemy so that it won’t be “stolen” and constantly practise the gifting so that it will grow otherwise we will be like the Israelites who become impoverished.

Some spiritual gifting which most Charismatic Christians received are easier to maintain. These gifting include speaking in tongues, the gift of prophecy, the gift of healing etc. This is because those gifting are tangible and easily understood. However, the spiritual gifting in CKRM is used mainly for spiritual warfare and there are not many people who can completely understand. Relevant information is also scarce and not easily understood by the logical mind. It requires more faith to maintain and practise such spiritual gifting. Thank God, since returning from the camp a month ago, the pastors, brothers and sisters in CKRM continue to minister at a faster pace to me through the internet and phone by imparting the anointing and encouraging me to exercise the gifting. This enables me to minimize doubts and grows deeper in understanding and experiencing the Lord.

Many people who try to understand these gifting and anointing intellectually are easily deceived by the enemy and end up making conclusion these are not from God. They stop practising them and thus, will not experience or have a real understanding of the gifting. So in this way, they fall into the enemy’s trap and eventually abandon the gifting and anointing. If they would have continued practising them by faith, gradually they would have gained deeper understanding of the spiritual gifting and their faith would have grown. God would have also given them more revelations. Praise God, our faith is based on “The righteous will live by faith (Romans 1:17), “12Whoever has will be given more” (Mat 13:12). Without stepping out in faith, one would never go forward.

3. The changes in me during this period

a. Joy of the Lord

In recent years, I have experienced very little joy and could barely laugh. I know that I should always be joyful but I just find it hard to do so. During the camp, Pastor Paul prayed for me to receive the joy of the Lord. After returning home, Pastor Paul and Brother Thomas continue to impart the joy of the Lord to me via the internet. After reading an article “Holy Laughter – What’s it all about” sent to me by Pastor Paul, my understanding regarding the joy of the Lord has deepened. I opened my heart and asked God to fill me with joy. Thank God, I have experienced tremendous breakthrough and my face is always full of smiles nowadays. Many a times, I find myself smiling for no particular reason.

In the past when the going gets tough, I often depend on my will to worship the Lord earnestly. I thought that I had overcome my problems when my loyalty and love for the Lord remained steadfast while going through trials. This is of course precious, but I know now that this is still not real victory. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2). This is not what we can achieve by our own strength but our joy is in the Lord (Philippians 4:4). In the past, I often proclaimed “Rejoice in the Lord” , “Rejoice in the Lord” but I don’t really know what it means because I have yet to experience it. It is different now. Nowadays when in misery, I will ask to be filled with the Spirit of joy and immediately joy will fill me. Going through misery is a breeze now. Thank God because His joy is such an amazing and precious weapon! 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,'(Zechariah 4:6). Praise God!

b. More power in prayer

In the past, I needed to pray for a longer period of time in tongues before the roar of the Lion of Judah could be activated. After the camp, the gifting has been revitalized and strengthened. Nowadays, even while praying with words, I could activate the roar of the Lion of Judah, blowing of the shofar, lighting anointing etc. All these are released naturally by the leading of the Holy Spirit. When praying at home, for the sake of not disturbing my neighbours, I will lower my loudness when releasing the roar of the Lion of Judah by regulating the airflow in my throat cavity. I am still in a traditional church but during the pre-service prayer meeting, I use these methods to practice my spiritual gifting.

Different spiritual gifting and anointing builds up each other but there is one fundamental anointing – The Fire Anointing. Truthfully, I didn’t know what its purpose in the beginning was. Did it serve as an experience? Interestingly, after reading the article on Fire anointing by Pastor Paul (http://pastorpaulang.blogspot.com/2008/10/fire-anointing-and-its-purpose.html)，I was greatly inspired. Now I know the reason behind the fire anointing which is the very foundation of a true disciple of Jesus – Fire Anointing purifies me, removes the blockages done by the enemy and enhances my spiritual sensitivity. Once all this is done the other gifting will be activated too.

Praise God, for His wisdom and power which are limitless!

Dr Sarah Shan

(Translation from Mandarin to English by our Editorial Team)