一天早晨，又有感动开始写这篇文章，但仍然很混乱，加之仇敌藉着一些事情攻击我的思想，我感觉自己的思维不够清晰，无法下笔。突然我想起了Joyce Tai 牧师的见证 （http://ckrm.org/cn/?p=841），也想起神藉着保罗牧师给了我意念更新的武器。我奉主耶稣基督的名用这个武器敲自己的头，同时斥责混乱的思想和辖制离开。敲了几下之后，犹大狮子吼被释放出来，伴随着吹角、吹气，同时我也挥舞圣灵宝剑争战。过了20分钟左右，有呕吐的感觉，我知道得了释放，并且喜乐的灵降下，我的思维清晰起来。浸泡在神的同在中，我明白了神要我写什么。神不是要我讲很多道理或引用很多经文来支持自己的观点，神现在只是要我写下自己的经历作为见证。于是我在十分钟之内把提纲写出来，并且补充一些关键内容。
近几年我很少有喜乐，很难笑出来，我也知道要常常喜乐，但我就是很难笑出来。营会中保罗牧师为我祷告，领受喜乐的灵，回来后保罗牧师和Thomas弟兄又通过网络给我传递喜乐的恩膏，尤其读过保罗牧师转发的一篇关于圣灵中喜笑的文章后（Holy Laughter—What's it All About?），我对喜乐有了进一步了解。我敞开自己的心向神求喜乐充满，感谢神，现在我有很大的突破，脸上经常会带着笑容，很多时候会莫名其妙地笑。
Dr Sarah Shan
Maintaining and practicing my spiritual gifting – Dr Sarah Shan
1. An experience of using spiritual weapons
It has been a month since returning from the 5th Joshua Camp and I sensed that the Lord wants me to write something. So I made many preparations, constantly noting down my thoughts and sentiments on a notebook. After a while, I realized that there are many “clues” and scriptures on my notebook but I couldn’t write out a complete article because the content was too scattered and too much. I wanted to outline what I wanted to write but I just couldn’t. I began to ponder; probably it is not the time to write this article yet or it is because of my understanding of CKRM is not comprehensive enough?
One morning, I felt the urge to write the article again but it was still in a very messy stage. Furthermore, the enemy attacked my mind through some matters and caused my thoughts to be unclear. I was unable to write. Suddenly, I recalled the testimony of Pastor Joyce Tai（http://www.ckrm.org/?p=2433) where Pastor Paul imparted the mind renewal spiritual weapon to me. I used this spiritual weapon in the name of Jesus to knock on my head while commanding the chaotic thoughts and any mind controlling powers to leave me. After a few knocks, the roar of the Lion of Judah was activated, followed by the shofar and blowing anointing. At the same time I was also wielding the Sword of the Spirit and engaging in spiritual warfare. After 20 minutes, I felt the need to vomit and I knew that I had been delivered. The Spirit of joy came upon me and my thoughts began to clear up. As I soaked in the presence of God, I knew what God wanted me to write about. God didn’t want me to use lots of arguments and scriptures to support my views. Instead He only wanted me to write down my experiences as a testimony. So I outlined what I wanted to write in 10 minutes supported with various key points.
2. The need to maintain and practise spiritual gifting and anointing
Acquiring spiritual gifting is easy but maintaining it is not. Satan is not happy when we prosper spiritually, he will surely come to kill, steal and destroy what we have acquired. In the parable of the Sower, Jesus told us that the birds ate up the seeds that fell along the path. In Judges 6:3-4, “Whenever the Israelites planted their crops, the Midianites, Amalekites and other eastern peoples invaded the country. They camped on the land and ruined the crops all the way to Gaza and did not spare a living thing for Israel, neither sheep nor cattle nor donkeys.” In verse 6 it says “Midian so impoverished the Israelites …”
The spiritual gifting we initially received is like the seeds God gave us - requires faith to maintain, keep away from the deception of the enemy so that it won’t be “stolen” and constantly practise the gifting so that it will grow otherwise we will be like the Israelites who become impoverished.
Some spiritual gifting which most Charismatic Christians received are easier to maintain. These gifting include speaking in tongues, the gift of prophecy, the gift of healing etc. This is because those gifting are tangible and easily understood. However, the spiritual gifting in CKRM is used mainly for spiritual warfare and there are not many people who can completely understand. Relevant information is also scarce and not easily understood by the logical mind. It requires more faith to maintain and practise such spiritual gifting. Thank God, since returning from the camp a month ago, the pastors, brothers and sisters in CKRM continue to minister at a faster pace to me through the internet and phone by imparting the anointing and encouraging me to exercise the gifting. This enables me to minimize doubts and grows deeper in understanding and experiencing the Lord.
Many people who try to understand these gifting and anointing intellectually are easily deceived by the enemy and end up making conclusion these are not from God. They stop practising them and thus, will not experience or have a real understanding of the gifting. So in this way, they fall into the enemy’s trap and eventually abandon the gifting and anointing. If they would have continued practising them by faith, gradually they would have gained deeper understanding of the spiritual gifting and their faith would have grown. God would have also given them more revelations. Praise God, our faith is based on “The righteous will live by faith (Romans 1:17), “12Whoever has will be given more” (Mat 13:12). Without stepping out in faith, one would never go forward.
3. The changes in me during this period
a. Joy of the Lord
In recent years, I have experienced very little joy and could barely laugh. I know that I should always be joyful but I just find it hard to do so. During the camp, Pastor Paul prayed for me to receive the joy of the Lord. After returning home, Pastor Paul and Brother Thomas continue to impart the joy of the Lord to me via the internet. After reading an article “Holy Laughter – What’s it all about” sent to me by Pastor Paul, my understanding regarding the joy of the Lord has deepened. I opened my heart and asked God to fill me with joy. Thank God, I have experienced tremendous breakthrough and my face is always full of smiles nowadays. Many a times, I find myself smiling for no particular reason.
In the past when the going gets tough, I often depend on my will to worship the Lord earnestly. I thought that I had overcome my problems when my loyalty and love for the Lord remained steadfast while going through trials. This is of course precious, but I know now that this is still not real victory. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2). This is not what we can achieve by our own strength but our joy is in the Lord (Philippians 4:4). In the past, I often proclaimed “Rejoice in the Lord” , “Rejoice in the Lord” but I don’t really know what it means because I have yet to experience it. It is different now. Nowadays when in misery, I will ask to be filled with the Spirit of joy and immediately joy will fill me. Going through misery is a breeze now. Thank God because His joy is such an amazing and precious weapon! 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,'(Zechariah 4:6). Praise God!
b. More power in prayer
In the past, I needed to pray for a longer period of time in tongues before the roar of the Lion of Judah could be activated. After the camp, the gifting has been revitalized and strengthened. Nowadays, even while praying with words, I could activate the roar of the Lion of Judah, blowing of the shofar, lighting anointing etc. All these are released naturally by the leading of the Holy Spirit. When praying at home, for the sake of not disturbing my neighbours, I will lower my loudness when releasing the roar of the Lion of Judah by regulating the airflow in my throat cavity. I am still in a traditional church but during the pre-service prayer meeting, I use these methods to practice my spiritual gifting.
Different spiritual gifting and anointing builds up each other but there is one fundamental anointing – The Fire Anointing. Truthfully, I didn’t know what its purpose in the beginning was. Did it serve as an experience? Interestingly, after reading the article on Fire anointing by Pastor Paul (http://pastorpaulang.blogspot.com/2008/10/fire-anointing-and-its-purpose.html)，I was greatly inspired. Now I know the reason behind the fire anointing which is the very foundation of a true disciple of Jesus – Fire Anointing purifies me, removes the blockages done by the enemy and enhances my spiritual sensitivity. Once all this is done the other gifting will be activated too.
Praise God, for His wisdom and power which are limitless!
Dr Sarah Shan
(Translation from Mandarin to English by our Editorial Team)