Docas Testimony – The Cross
When I was fourteen, I saw a vision of myself going to the cross of Jesus while I was immersed in worship. Back then, I saw Jesus hanging on the cross. I asked Jesus：“Lord, why are you hanging there？”Jesus simply replied：“It is for you” That answer shattered my heart and I collapsed before Jesus and wept. Since then, I deeply and fully love my Lord Jesus; there is nothing that can separate me and the Lord. I understood then, what the bible means when it says:”for love is as strong as death…” (Song of Solomon 8:6a). I would rather die than make Jesus suffer shame and humiliation again.
Yesterday, when I was at CKRM, Ps Paul was led by the Spirit to ask：“ Who is willing to carry the cross？” When I walked out，I felt God’s love surrounding me in the air and I lifted up both my hands. When Ps Paul placed a cross on my hand, the Holy Spirit immediately filled me. I felt my entire being embracing the cross deeply; I couldn’t help but wept grievously before God. I felt how Jesus felt when he was on the cross for me; His love, His obedience, His sacrifice by leaving behind the glory in heaven for a sinner like me, becoming a man，going to the cross，bearing all shame for me、rebukes、pain、grief、abandoned by God and men……
When I first saw the cross, I began to love the Lord. This time, I know the Lord wanted me to surrender completely to Him, obey Him unto death. The Lord let me understand that we are in this world not to build our own kingdom but to build God’s kingdom. We are not called to be famous and great warriors，but to be like Jesus, die to self, humbly carry the cross and follow our Lord. I am willing to let God do what He wants in my life; let me become smaller and smaller before the Lord, reduced till I fully die to myself and is totally lost in His love. Let the Lord become bigger and bigger，more and more vigorous in me till Jesus is fully formed within me.
I long for you, Lord. I desire you to teach me the way of the cross，desire your will be done in me, desire you to guard my heart and steps so that I can love you, obey you unto death, not giving up the cross mid-way and shame your Name. Amen